Hyrum sleeping just a few days after he was born
I have a question and I would appreciate your comments. What I want to know: How old was your baby/child/children (or those of which you know) when they started sleeping through the night? When I say sleeping through the night, I mean going to bed at bedtime and staying there, asleep, most nights until its time to get up the next morning. Or has this never actually happened? Or did it happen for a while only to be followed by a relapse of regular wakings? Did your child reach this state (of sleeping through the night) on their own or did you use some sleep training method?
Here is how things have gone for us if you are interested:
When Hyrum was a baby I assumed sleeping through the night meant going to sleep at night and waking to feed but then easily going back to sleep after his feeding. So I counted myself lucky that he did so, waking every two hours but then going back to sleep. But by the time he was about 8 months old it was getting really, well, exhausting. He did get better around that time after some very stressful attempts at teaching him to go to sleep without me feeding him. He eventually woke much less (I think one or two times) and would take a bottle. I’m not really sure how old he was when he started sleeping through the night most nights. I think it happened off and on until he was about two.
When we had our second baby, I assumed that my luck would be better and that as long as I followed the “expert” advice, my baby would start sleeping through the night much earlier. Well, several times she got close and even slept through the night sometimes. But it never lasted. I had read that most babies sleep through the night by about 2-4 months old (which doesn’t seem to be true but I would like to find out) and I assumed that by the time she was 6 months for sure she would be sleeping through the night. So I didn’t worry about it too much until that age got close. But then it was rather stressful and frustrating when we tried to teach her to do so but instead she was back to waking many times (at least 4 times most nights).
Well, she still isn’t sleeping through the night but she has gotten closer and will finally take a bottle of milk (she never would take formula) and let Adam help her at least sometimes. As long as I get enough cumulative sleep and don’t have to get up more than 3 times it really isn’t too bad. Two times is definitely better than three though.
I am writing this because I would like to know what others’ experiences are like and what age most babies or children really sleep through the night (not that this will really tell me about “most” babies but at least some others). I think that if I hadn’t been worried about meeting an artificial deadline I would have avoided a lot of stress and worry, not to mention frustration and disappointment. I wonder if this happens to other moms as well.
Start Slide Show with PicLens Lite
Heidi says:
Katie started to sleep through the night between 3-4 months. I had to train her a little bit, meaning I did not let her get accustom to me always feeding her or always holding her when she would wake up. There were a few nights of crying, but as long as I knew her diaper was changed and her stomach was satisfied, I tried to encourage her to soothe herself. I would have to re-do the process whenever her schedule got really messed up (example during the holidays with a lot of late night christmas parties, or going on vacation) Even though it was hard to lay in bed and listen to her cry for an hour, I knew she was safe, and had to keep reminding myself that. It usually only took one long night, and the next night she knew I wasn’t coming in, so she soothed herself. She still sleeps 12-13 hours straight without waking up. Maybe I am just lucky though, I guess I will find out pretty soon when I have this next one. Good luck, and don’t judge me for letting her cry.
29 June 2009, 1:14 pmadmin says:
In response to your comment, Heidi, don’t worry, I don’t think you are a bad parent. I know a lot of good parents use the cry it out method. Part of what I am wondering is if you have to be either really lucky or let them cry it out in order to have them sleep so soon. I obviously don’t know what the “best” method is or if there is one. I also hope other parents won’t judge me for not letting my baby (or toddler) cry it out. Not that I haven’t let them cry, just not for too long without letting them know I’m there and/or trying to help them calm down.
29 June 2009, 2:25 pm~Laura
Emily says:
Laura-
29 June 2009, 3:28 pmI read a whole bunch of books on sleep because I really wanted Cassie to sleep through the night. My favorite was “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” by Marc Weissbluth. I liked it because the author is a pediatrician with lots of experience with sleep problems in children, and he backs his suggestions up with real evidence and research, so I felt safe taking his advice.
Cassie was sleeping through the night (without waking up to eat or anything) as of 10 1/2 or 11 months. Before that, I didn’t want to take away her night feeding until I was sure she would be okay without it. But she was waking up several times a night, even when she really didn’t need to be fed, but I felt like I always had to go in and calm her down. Anyway, one thing that Dr. Weissbluth says in his book is that there’s no evidence that crying at night harms a child in any way, but there’s a lot of evidence that says frequent night wakings can make a child sleep deprived (and he cites a lot of problems that occur when young children are sleep deprived). I realized that by going in every time she cried, I was basically facilitating her sleep deprivation. Anyway, when she was about 10 1/2 or 11 months old, she weighed enough to go without nursing at night. I put a night-light in her room and several pacifiers in her bed so she could find them and soothe herself back to sleep when she woke up, then I wore earplugs to bed for the next four nights (if I hear her crying, I can’t help going to her), and I prayed a lot that if she REALLY needed me, Heavenly Father would let me know. She’s been sleeping through the night really well ever since.
This worked really well for us- I don’t think Cassie would ever have slept through the night if I kept coming to her when she cried. I think she had just gotten in the habit of having me calm her down, and I think she also really liked having me come to her at night, but what she needed was a full night’s sleep.
I hope this didn’t sound like propaganda- everyone seems really pushy when it comes to birthing and parenting. I definitely believe mothers (especially really good ones, like you!) know what’s best for their children.
Heather says:
You’re going to hate me. Ava slept completely through the night (9pm to 7am) at 16 days old. She consistently slept through the night by 4 weeks. Part of it was that we wouldn’t let her nap after 7pm (and do everything but torture her to keep her awake when she was that tiny), and didn’t put her to bed until 9pm. I also didn’t buy into the books or people who told me that newborns need to be woken up at night to be fed. Logic told me that that would train her to wake up several times a night (though if she was under-weight I would have). Also- I’m a pretty deep sleeper so unless she was screaming at the top of my lungs I usually wouldn’t wake up enough to get up with her.
Honestly though, I think we just got a great sleeper.
A friend of ours still had problems with her 11 month old sleeping through the night. Now she puts her to bed at 8pm and gets her back up for a feeding at 10:30pm- she said she sleeps until 6:30. I think that still is training her to wake up, but I would totally do it if I was woken up in the middle of the night, every night.
30 June 2009, 5:31 pm